Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Katie P's LiveJournal:

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Monday, February 28th, 2005
3:35 pm	loving life she makes me soo happy i can't take it. for the first time in a LONG time my life is good again...and it is because of her. she is what i have been waiting for....it took awhile...but i thank god for it...for her! Current Mood: giddy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
9:19 pm	She saved me Im not feeling too good right now, im hoping i ain't getting the flu! Well anyways lifes better. I have someone and she makes my life soo much better . im not gonna go into long detail, im just saying it's good to find someone like her....i don't think i;m letting this one go folks....well i'll write later Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Friday, December 31st, 2004
10:31 am	A new begining There were so many times in these past two years that i really didn't think i was gonna make it through...and i litterally mean that....But it has always been said that good things happen to those who wait. Who am i waiting for...absolutly no one, which is acutally a good feeling. You can only hold on to people for so long, ya know...before you just don't want to hold on anymore. Yes, of course i am always gonna care, but that is just the person i am. But as for my life, it's gonna be real different in 2005. Figuring out what colleges i want to apply to, a lead in this years musical, district chorus and turning the big 18!!! Thats alot of things i have waited so long for to come. Is there love in my life. Well...i have lots of friends...so yes, is there someone in mind for my love life...maybe, but i don't want to rush or jump to conclusions, i just kinda want to let whatever happens, happen. All i am saying is i want this year to be different....and i think it just might be.   Everyone take care of yourseleves, and think about what your doing before you go ahead and do it...it will make a difference in the long run... and i am always here for you Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
2:22 pm	Wow, it's really great to know who your friends are.... I want to vent...SOOO I am going to First things first, I am So sure that jay isn't even talking to me and we are supposed to be going to the semi together THIS FRIDAY....THEN i fucking find out that he has been saying shit about me behind my back, to other people AND on live journal.. Well doesn't that just fucking sucik ass. Thats just such bullshit though because i put my trust in him....even when other people told me not to and now it's come to bitch slap me in the face... oh god damn well.. you win some, you lose some. Second, about the whole I hate frank club...I never said i hated him, but anymore i do strongly dislike him. The reason that people are so pissed with him is because for one FUCKING second he couldn't be happy for me. YES.... I GOT THE LEAD IN THE MUSICAL THIS YEAR....and YES it's all i ever wanted, but not for one second could he just be proud or happy for me...he had to go and say how i can't act or that annie got shafted or that i don't deserve my part....BULL SHIT...there must have been a couple people that thought i deserved it if i got the role....yet people who are SUPPOSSED to be my friends stand my frank on this one.... well fuck that! IN EVERYTHING any of my friends have ever done i have ALWAYS been supporitive....I could have been very bitter about alot of things last year...but i wasn't.....i let everyone know that i was there for them and cheered them on 100 and 10 perecent,. and now when other people are bringing me down and its just fine...how the hell does that work? please tell me Its just really sad that i thought i knew who my friends were, when in all realitiy, i have no fucking clue... Be Happy for me, hate me for it....but in the end, i will prove every last one of you wrong...i can do this...and i don't need anyoen but myself... THANKS GUYS Current Mood: disappointed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
5:57 pm	Tired of being lonley... How did I get this way. Sometimes I really wonder what happened. I mean, i use to be the strongest most independent person i knew, and now i constantly find myself needing something or someone. I see everyone with their significant other and I really wonder why i don't have someone. I mean am i not good enough...am i just to picky....am i waiting for something, or is some higher power making a plan and just has not gave me the right person yet..... Oh i don't know. I mean, I am not looking for marriage or anything right now, but i would like someone there you know. For comfort, and fun, and to make me feel good again. I want to fall for someone again, and get those butterflies when i look at them, or become speechless when i look in to their eyes. I want someone to take my breath away again...just someone to care about me...... I know i complain about this alot, well it's because i have no one, and I am tired of people saying to wait around for the right person. I'm lonely and sad... I don't want to be. I'd like to be happy again, I'd like to have someone to tell on my secrets to, and hold hands with, and get little kisses just because i feel like smooching and what not. I just want someone.....thats all Current Mood: tired (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
6:03 pm	Updating again Yes Katie is ACTUALLY updating...can you believe it? What do I want to say now...hmm I am not too sure. Life is what it is. I have friends, but no one to cuddle with or hold hands with, or just things like that. Usually I am ok with it, but every now and then i am aloud to get a little down about it. Is it that the power above is waiting for me to find the right person.. or am i just supposed to be alone...I really don't think its that, maybe I am just not supposed to find someone in Hopewell. Good lord, look at me babelling about all of this...sorry So Katie goes for guys now...who in the HELL ever thought that would happen, cuz with all seriousness i never thought it would.( look I am talking in 3rd person now ) You know what i hate.... the fact that no matter how shitty a person or people can be to you, their always gonna be in your heart. There are SO many people that i could have wrote off so long ago and just decided not to care about them anymore because of the shit they have done to me....but i don't write them off and i do care...call me crazy....seriously cuz i am I am going to the semi with Jay Jay this year...how AWESOME is that. I don't know anyone that can dance better than he can... and he alwyas takes care of me..we'll have fun Oh yeah I have mono...isn't that fun Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
5:41 pm	Good things It's nice when good things happen...ya know yep....lifes good I wanna Live, Laugh, Love, Just for today... I wanna take all the troubles that tomorrow might bring and put em away...i wanna drink every drop of happiness till they cover me up.. I wanna Live, wanna laugh, wanna love Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
7:15 pm	As i sit here, i realize.....Junior year is coming... WOW is all i have to say about that. Where does the time go, really? I mean i still remember my first day as a freshman, it seems like yesterday, and now i have to worry about sat's and what colleges i want to apply for, and make sure i keep my grades up and what not. Let me just say youy never believe your elders when they say that you don't want to group because when your older you'll want to go back. I have always wanted to be grown up. In charge of myself....free to do what i want to do. But as i get older, i wish i could go back to when i was in 7th grade and the world was everything i wanted it to be. I had great best friends, my life wasn't screwed up yet and everyone got along. I mean I am not saying i have a bad life now... things are actually going pretty good and i have learned ALOT of lifes lessons along the way... theres always though that little bit inside of you that wishes you could go back. Useless i know, but still.. Will my junior year be everything i want it to be....i hope so, and as long as i stay positive i think it will..I got good friends, things are different and i am different, and so we will see. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 29th, 2004
11:36 am	So much for my happy ending oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... Let's talk this over It's not like we're dead Was it something I did? Was it something You said? Don't leave me hanging In a city so dead Caught up so high On such a breakable thread You were all the things I thought of you And I thought we could be [chorus] You were everything, everything that I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away All this time you were pretending So much for my happy ending oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... You've got your dumb friends I know what they say They tell you I'm difficult But so are they But they don't know me Do they even know you? All that they talk about All the shit that you do You were all the things I thought i knew And I thought we could be [chorus] It's nice to know you were there Thanks for acting like you cared And making me feel like I was the only one It's nice to know we had it all Thanks for watching at the phone And making me feel we were done [chorus X2] oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
6:17 pm	I don't Know... I don't think I like whats happening at all...my hearts aching alot these days for tons of different reasons... One, I don't like growing up, NOT AT ALL, and i don't want people graduating...i don't want more people walking out of my life...to mayn have already done that. I don't want my class to pass to another year...I think i'd give anything just to stay where we are at now, because as much as I want to say that after high school I will stay close with everyone....I really don't think i will...I mean look at the fact that when we were in jr high we "KNEW" who were gonna be our best friends for the rest of lives..and as soon as high school came..things changed...we weren't as close or even close at all with the people we had been before. Then there are those people with love lives...the ones who think it's gonna last...who think they don't need other experiences to know...or think that be seperated from each other is gonna work....and ya know what.. There is Like 1 in every 500 "High school Sweethearts" who actually stick together, and if they do...they end up being MISERABLE IN THE END or questioning their whole lives if they did the right thing. High school is about experiences, and learning, not about making everything in your life so permanent... Maybe you and your spouse will end up actually being appy together...maybe not...who really knows all i know is....i don't think i want to grow up Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, April 12th, 2004
10:10 pm	M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Florida was awesome I must say....Made some great new friends and got a KICK ASS tan...what more could a girl want. First off....Nicole, Amamda, Maura, Chris, Adam, John,Mike, Courtney and everyone else that spent time with me there you guys are great...you are truly a great bunch of people and I am more than glad that I am friends with all of you....and amanda AREN"T YOU HAPPY I UPDATED!!!hahaha Anyways another year had come to pass now and in 2 months i will be a Junior.....wow... I am thankful for the friends I've made, sorry for the people I have hurt, trying not to hold anything towards anyone....just trying to be happy. I think I finally am becoming that again..ha...thats new! It's nice though....i missed it. Anyways about the whole being gay thing.... I am who I am...why the hell do I have to be labeled. I fall for who I fall for...maybe someday that will be a guy..or maybe it will be a girl...either way it's gonna be someone that I love and someone who loves me so who the hell should give a damn except me. I think i have spent soo much time trying to please so many people... that i lost myself, if you can understand that. And just recently I realized that I am a bitch....a depressive bitch that has no fun and crys all the time...or atleast thats what i was.....recently though I have learned how to feel again...all i know is I am taking things as SLOW as I possibly can and just letting what happens, happen.TO all of you that know me I Hope this makes sense cuz it does to me..... yeah something like that Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
9:32 pm	Yep Life is what you make it.....so STOP worrying about everything else! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
10:49 pm	Tell me.... Has anyone actually ever just laid in bed....and listened? Listen to the rain, listen to the wind, or the radio or family arguing outside your door? The rain for me is a beautiful thing...it always has been. Don't know why, and I will probably never know. I do NOT like thunder and lighting, but i absolutly love when it's just pooring down rain....when you can walk into it and let it take over you entire body...your entire being. I guess I become at peace when I can just stand in the rain and look up at the sky, and just let every little drop fall on my face...in a way it's breathe taking. Yeah I know, I know...I'm just rambling about somthing stupid....but seriously....if you ever do just get a chance....feel the drops.....LISTEN to the rain...... Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 19th, 2004
6:49 pm	mistake He acutally died yesterday, his funeral was today...... (Comment on this)
6:32 pm	Amen A great mad died today... my uncle george. He was sweet, and made you laugh and he was just all around good. Today I looked at my family and I realized somthing... I don't know where I would be with out them. Each one, even uncle george played and still play a big role in my life. To bad I never got to thank him for it. I want to stop worrying about everything that is going on in my life. I need to focus on me and getting myself back together. This past fall...no this past year was hard for me... different....dealt with things i never thought i would have dealt with...did they make me better? Well i couldn't say, you would have to be the judge of the that. Did they make me stronger...HELL yes....but in a way made me realize the weaknesses that I do have...and let me say, as of this past year I didn't think I had any. I was katie peterson, and that pretty much conqured everything. Sucks that something as easy as falling for another girl is what brought me down to where I am at now.... Regret it....Hell no....why should I? I learned somthing right? Like not letting someone in to your life soo freaking easily....hmmm... anyways... i guess what i am trying to say is I am who I am....but without the friends and family i have, i wouldn't be anything....and I want and NEED to thank them....so thank you I love and miss you uncle george.... REST IN PEACE Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
8:12 pm	What else can I say...... Remember the friends who have changed your life, cherish those who are changing it now, and pray that those who matter, stick around....... I think that has to be the most meaningful thing i have ever said in my life. Now only if people would listen...... Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 4th, 2004
7:18 pm	Wow, lets just say 2003 was quite a year..... Lets just say though, that things are never the same. THe end of this year was extremely hard for me. I did alot of stupid things, said alot of stupid shit, and hurt the ones that i love the most. THen again it was because i was hurting... I have come to the conclusion that I wear my heart on my sleve, and altough i would like to sit here and say that I am going to stop, I won't. It's who I am....I care about people, and I want to be cared about......THere was one MAJOR person that i cared about though this year, and probably will for the rest of my life. I've come to the conclusion though that all we will be is friends, and i have to start over...AGAIN....while none of what happened in 2003 made ANY sense, I need to deal with it and move on. It's a new year, a new life, new goals....hopefully a new me...we'll see! Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
8:33 pm	hmmmm.... SOOO much has happened in the last month that I don't know where to even start. Well first off, I am the president of chorus...YAY...that makes me really happy! Musical is coming and i want a lead SO bad i can't even explain. All i can do is try my best and see where that takes me. Life is getting easier and i'm getting back into the groove with old friends, and hopfully keeping the new ones i made....you know who you are... I guess ya gotta just let things happen, and thats what I'm doing....it feels pretty damn good to tell you the truth.....Oh yeah, i went to an old folks home last night with amy and daddy, and i enjoyed myself VERY much....we got jerrys curb service afterwards...YUM YUM....those 2 are HIllarious...i wish i could spend more time with them. Our chorus concert was tonite and we kicked MAJOR ass....I was REALLY scared, but we pulled threw and did a good job. We went to the mcguire home today to, and i enjoyed....ALOT OF SINGING, when i'm sick....and my throat is KILLING ME........ well thats all for now CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!! Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Friday, December 5th, 2003
9:41 pm	It was fun... Yes I actually did have a really good night tonite.....actually a a good week. THe play was HILLARIOUS, cara was absolutley histarical!!! Musical is coming and i am nervous as all hell....i want a lead badly..... district chourus is coming soon so thats exciting, and our chorus concert is on wednesday. The band concert is a week after that, and the semi is 2 days after that....plus i work.....BUSY BUSY girl...thats a GOOD thing though....keeps my mind off of things...Oh yeah and maura is gonna help me with musical stuff...YAY...I love that girl....well i'll write more later, i'm tired and wanna go to bed! sweet dreams Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
3:44 pm	just a song Heaven bent to take my hand And lead me through the fire Be the long awaited answer To a long and painful fight Truth be told I've tried my best But somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer And the cost was so much more than I could bear Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... We all begin with good intent Love was raw and young We believed that we could change ourselves THe past could be undone But we carry on our backs the burden Time always reveals The lonely light of morning The wound that would not heal It's the bitter taste of losing everything That I have held so dear. I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... Heaven bent to take my hand Nowhere left to turn I'm lost to those I thought were friends To everyone I know Oh they turned their heads embarassed Pretend that they don't see But it's one missed step You'll slip before you know it And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed Though I've tried, I've fallen... I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... I'm getting threw this....all of this....one day at a time Current Mood: grateful (1 Comment |Comment on this)